By Mary Tucker | Senior Communications and Content Manager | IAEE
Most leadership development focuses on the big moments like the keynote speech, the strategic pivot or the crisis response. But ask anyone who’s actually led a team through a chaotic exhibition floor or a last-minute event change, and they’ll tell you the moments that matter most are smaller than that. It may be the half-second pause before you respond to a frustrated colleague, the way you handle a mistake in front of the team or the tone you take when plans fall apart an hour before doors open.
Matthew Kalb, CEM-AP, CMP, Vice President of Customer Experience at T3 expo and 2025 IAEE Bob Dallmeyer Educator of the Year Award recipient, deeply understands the gap between stimulus and response where trust, psychological safety and resilience are either built or quietly eroded. In IAEE’s upcoming webinar, Chapter Leadership – The Space Between: Small Leadership Moments That Shape Teams, he will explore why and how the fast-paced world of exhibitions and events makes such a compelling case study for everyday leadership.
If you’ve ever caught yourself reacting in a meeting or situation and wished you’d applied a more mindful approach, this is the session for you. Participants will learn how to turn those split-second moments into intentional and productive leadership that builds trust within your team, even when the room is on fire.
Here, Matt shares the neuroscience behind the pause, the small moments where trust is won or lost on the show floor and the practical techniques leaders can use to respond with more intention, even when the pressure is on.
Your session builds on your workshop, The Journey from Self-Awareness to Team Resilience. For someone who didn’t attend the original workshop, what’s the core neuroscience idea you keep coming back to, and why does it matter for leaders specifically?
Matthew: I believe leadership is built long before anyone notices it. We tend to think leadership is defined by the big moments, the keynote, the difficult conversation or the crisis. I’ve found it’s usually the opposite. Leadership is built in the everyday moments that seem too small to matter.
The more I study leadership, the more I find myself coming back to how our brains shape those moments before we even realize they’re happening. Curiosity has become one of my favorite leadership practices because it’s hard to judge and stay genuinely curious at the same time.
You talk about “the space between stimulus and response.” What is actually happening in someone’s brain during that pause, and why do many leaders skip right past it?
Matthew: When something unexpected happens, our brains immediately begin making predictions. They’re asking questions like, “Have I seen this before?” or “Is this a threat?” often before we’re even aware of it.
The space between stimulus and response gives us an opportunity to become curious before becoming certain. Sometimes that space is only a few seconds, but it’s often enough to ask one better question before responding.
I’d love to tell you I catch that pause every time, but I don’t. I still find myself reacting before I realize what story my brain has created. That’s why I keep practicing becoming curious before becoming certain.
Our industry is known for being high-pressure and fast-moving. What is it about that environment that makes these small leadership moments so much more visible – and so much more consequential – than they might be in a slower-paced industry?
Matthew: One of the reasons I love this industry is because it exposes leadership in real time. Live events remove the luxury of perfect conditions. Plans change, timelines compress and decisions happen quickly.
There’s very little space to hide your habits. Whatever your default leadership style is, it shows up quickly. That’s what makes our industry such an incredible leadership classroom. A curious question asked under pressure can build trust just as quickly as a careless comment can erode it.
Can you share an example of a “small moment” that seemed minor at the time but ended up having an outsized impact on a team’s trust or psychological safety?
Matthew: One moment that still sticks with me happened during a live event when something went wrong and everyone immediately started looking for the cause. You could almost feel the room preparing to defend itself.
Instead, the leader simply asked, “Help me understand what happened.”
The energy shifted almost instantly. People stopped protecting themselves and started solving the problem together.
It wasn’t a dramatic leadership moment. It was a simple question delivered with genuine curiosity. Those are often the moments people remember because they shape how safe it feels to speak up the next time.
A lot of leaders know intellectually that they should pause before reacting, especially under pressure. What gets in the way of actually doing it, and what is one practical technique you’ll be sharing to help close that gap?
Matthew: Under pressure, certainty feels comfortable. Our brains want quick answers because quick answers feel safe.
I still catch myself doing this more often than I’d like to admit. That’s why I keep coming back to one simple question:
“What story am I telling myself right now?”
That question creates just enough space to slow my thinking, test my assumptions and respond with greater intention. Honestly, that single question has probably changed my leadership more than any framework I’ve ever learned.
Your sessions challenge people to rethink failure. What does that look like in practice during a live event, when there often isn’t time to stop and reflect in the moment?
Matthew: Live events rarely give us the gift of stopping everything to reflect, but they do give us opportunities to choose our next response. Instead of asking, “Who made the mistake?” I encourage leaders to ask, “What can we learn that makes the next moment better?”
One of the things I love most about leadership is that we get another opportunity a few minutes later. We don’t have to be perfect. We just have to keep practicing.
